The Best Damn Thing

2F - Full Length - 90-100 min

It’s summer of 2011, and Ellie, an awkward 16-year-old, has written what she believes to be a groundbreaking new musical inspired by the early discography of Avril Lavigne. She has invited Rachel, her much cooler ex-best friend and their theatre teacher’s favorite, to her house to pitch the show in hopes that Rachel can convince him to program it for their spring musical. Over the course of one evening of workshopping, the two girls rekindle their friendship and reopen old wounds. The Best Damn Thing is a piercing and boldly theatrical exploration of what it means to be a teenage girl in a world that refuses to take you seriously.

“I love this play so much. What a wild, theatrical, gloriously messy, complicated (pun intended), well-crafted piece — there are no easy answers, nothing simple or unearned. I laughed, I cried, etc. Also don't know if I've ever read something that captures that first spark of teenage queer awakening in such a crushingly real way. Oh these girls. This play. My heart.”

— Kimberly Belflower, playwright of John Proctor is the Villain

Production and Development History

  • Production, Dacha Theatre, Seattle, WA, dir. Kate Drummond, April 1-18 2026

  • Production, The Understudy Coffee and Books, Chicago IL, dir. Grace Dolezal-Ng, January 27-February 5 2024

  • Reading, UP Theater, New York, NY, October 2021

  • Reading, First Floor Theater, Chicago, IL, Jan 2020

  • Developed through the New Colony’s Writers Room, Chicago, IL Fall 2019

Honors

  • Finalist, Eugene O’Neill Theatre Center’s National Playwrights Conference, Waterford, CT, May 2021

  • Finalist, Up: Renewal Reading Series, New York, NY, July 2020

“There are shows that come along every so often that completely catch me off guard—productions I walk into with one set of expectations, only to leave wishing I hadn’t made any pre-show assumptions at all. The Best Damn Thing […] is very much one of those shows. […] What unfolds is a fast-paced and surprisingly nuanced piece that balances humor and heartbreak with a deft hand. Beneath its pop-punk surface, The Best Damn Thing becomes a deeply human story—one that uses its central conceit to explore the awkwardness of youth, the complexities of friendship, and the very real challenges of growing up as someone who feels “different” in middle America.”

— Greg Heilman, The Sound on Stage

Additional Press

Photos by Juli Del Prete of The Understudy: Coffee and Books’ developmental production of THE BEST DAMN THINGJan 27-Feb 5, 2024

Show Specs

CHARACTERS

ELLIE ………………..16, she/her, any race
Possibly the most talented person in the world. Probably also the most awkward and annoying. Gleek. Atheist. Has a Tumblr. Gay but she doesn’t know it. Also plays: MELANIE (popular and pretty and not like other girls), MRS. LEMON (a concerned teacher), TREVOR (himbo loser), MELANIE’S MOM (unhappy housewife)

RACHEL ……………16, she/her, any race
The first girl at her school to own a pair of Docs. So cool. So sad. The best actor in their class but would rather die than say she cares about it. Gay and she knows it, but no one else does.  Also plays: APRIL (rebel loner who is not like other girls), BRIDGETTE (vapid popular pretty girl), MR. LEMON (supportive husband), MELANIE’S DAD (toxic husband)

A Note on Music:
All the songs featured within the play are original songs inspired by Avril Lavigne, co-written by myself and Sara Geist. For vocalists: these should be performed in the style of a real stadium concert rather than musical theatre – little to no vibrato, the most fun punk rock energy you can muster.

Photos by Brett Love of Dacha Theatre’s production of THE BEST DAMN THING, April 1-18, 2026